Martes, Disyembre 24, 2013

SEasOns GrEetings!

SHarE YOUR bleSsings.

Wink! Wink!

Lunes, Nobyembre 11, 2013

never late

i already have told you this but saying it again anyway: i have stopped doing facebook.. and stopped mean deactivating (temporarily) my account last july 15, exactly a year to that unforgettable incident.. errr. but the date has really no relevance, i didn’t even know. pero why bakla, buhkett? apparently, it has been boring and thought the information im getting from every friend update's adding up a pile of stress on me (napaka-haffected ko nomon). nakakastress lang ang mga bali-balita it came to the point i got fed up. not to mention the parade of selfies that are so nakaka-hellerr?.. hanubei, gandang-ganda lang ba talaga sa mga sarili te? koko-inggit nomon! choss. excuse to those whoever this points a finger at but i get annoyed with selfies. i'm getting to think that these soc networking sites are becoming an avenue to spur narcissism among us but shrinking the substance. it made me remember this friend who was pushing me to visit her albums & Like her fotos. kafaal ng feyz! hanu ako fan, utusan ba? of course i did no stupid. but more are drawn only to their fishbowl of Likes and Comments that are very side supporting, or should i say, just for the sake of. not to generalize but, hey people..

call me a nerd (Nerd!), or a loser (Loser!), or gay (fuck!) but i really felt that i don’t belong there anymore. my good friends too are hardly ever be regular so what’s the point? i once told Dacota and another friend about this tirade and they also shared their varying thoughts.i have this notion that online friendships are no different than shitty quasi friendships; lacks depth and sincerity. there are exceptions of course. but if that is too presupposing then i don’t care, that’s how i felt and i trusted my intuition better than my seatmate. but who knows, i may get to be back sooner, say a year after?, when everything’s sorted out at least.. (as if everyone cares too!).

but life gets better even without facebook. am as to this point enjoying another site which i think is more motivating than scrolling down on selfies

yaz galfriends i’m on PR. and this site made me think i had been spending too much of my spare time clicking Likes and missed on this. so far it’s been quite interesting. this i suppose is what i’ve been looking for: an opening to date local men! i already have met three and more to come. isn't that exciting? 

just wondering though, because i put on my profile data ‘Gay’ but almost everyone there is ‘Bisexual’ even those power bottom sissies… bisexual? really? 

yes, i think they’re kidding me. LOL

Photo borrowed from: 

Biyernes, Nobyembre 08, 2013

                                                   she is a stone brick                                                  

                                                         she is a stone brick
                                                            still as everything else
                                                            that lined the streets
                                                            that ran the miles
                                                            into her beautiful home;
                                                            long she's been there.

                                                         she is a stone brick
                                                            she smiles in peace
                                                            the creases that run on
                                                            her serene face
                                                            leading but nowhere; 
                                                            long she's been there.

                                                        she is a stone brick
                                                           that has lain in the nights
                                                           where the cold air breathes
                                                           some jolly joyful company
                                                           they then gather by the side;
                                                           long she's been there.

                                                        she is a stone brick
                                                           she came home one day:
                                                           "mama, make my bed up
                                                           sick am very i need to sleep.."
                                                           gone the outside she played;
                                                           long she's been there.

                                                       so mama made her bed up 
                                                          as she made up the bricks
                                                          piling it high at the waist,
                                                          where the other bricks 
                                                          on the garden—sat..
                                                          long they've been there.

                                                      she is a stone brick
                                                         that ran the miles
                                                         her serene face
                                                         that has lain in the nights
                                                         on the garden—sat..
                                                         long she'd been there.

Photo borrowed from:

Miyerkules, Oktubre 23, 2013

woooot! ! !

Do you BEKIS know what today IS?

Of course it's Wednesday but I mean, the RELEVANCE of this date…*big smile*

Com’ on. . . .*blink blink*

Ughh, Fine..

Today this BLOG TURNS Two

2 YEARS baby...Weetwhew!!

so let's parteee and bring in the boys!!! 

Photos borrowed from: 

Lunes, Oktubre 21, 2013

losing my religion

...not my faith.

i was a born and raised by very devout catholic parents, so i was religious. i remember when we were young my father would always gather us before dinner to recite the rosary. it went on every evening that even if i don’t feel like doing it we must; thus became a tedious routine for me until such time i recall feeling very happy and relieved that we don’t have to do it anymore after both my parents decided to work overseas.

despite studying in catholic schools from first grader to high school, i never had a solid understanding of what a Christian really mean. all i knew was that i go to church, go to confession with a priest every once in a while, receive communion and, recite the prayers. i had this unusual extreme feeling of anxiety whenever i’m in a  Mass (Eucharistic celebration), so strange and discomfiting like i’m burning and it lasted until i have the freedom to choose not to go anymore..

not only firm Catholics my parents were, my relatives are from Baptist churches as well, so the picture’s there—a closeted gay boy being in that very awkward environment. there are other practices in Catholicism i also have issues with, the one very apparent is in the form of Idolatry. when i stopped going to church that sort of gave me a break for quite some time. though during college i’ve totally withdrawn from attending mass and any catholic-related going-ons, it was also the time when i experienced my lowest moments: i became empty and was oblivious on what to do with my spiritual life. unconsciously i may have somehow felt meaningless from withdrawing on my religious practice. i was so alone though surrounded with friends i didn’t know where i was leading to.  quite a tough transition. it all but then turned out to be  a false guilt when finding another church became the turning point: i landed in a Born-again community.

there i found my place. and was founded with strong principles in my faith and made me feel like am home. it probably was the first time over the years that i became so devoted to my faith and my church. it was also when i began reading the Bible, and there have been things that i never would have known if i remained being a catholic. i learn that prayers are not to be recited, but,should be done in open-heartedness and spontaneity. so many things i have experienced and had a great company with my new family i felt the connection and peace i was digging down me for years. 

but i’d only thought..

as an old issue came surfacing again after my three years—

i am a homosexual. and my new-found church thinks differently towards gay people, generalizing their lifestyle and prejudging homosexuality as a whole. and when asked about it i resorted to lying and denying my true self. it has always been an issue on why my religions won't be able to reconcile my being gay. Homosexuality may have been a very broad matter: sociology (societal norms), psychology, genetics, religion, culture, history, and even language. but as broad and complex as it seem one can only tell if it’s really morally wrong to be living gay not unless one is gay himself. living a gay way of life doesn’t necessarily mean promiscuity. people thought it IS a choice of lifestyle & an illness that CAN be cured.

when ask about their view to this matter, most priests and spiritual leaders usually go back by referring to what the Bible “says” about it. has the Bible really  said something about it, or it’s just what the Bible READS? i may want to give an example


making it short folks, that’s what it “said” in the famous book of Leviticus (Lev.20:13). in the modern definition of Abomination, it denotes something that is very Shameful or Immoral. when we use this modern meaning when translating what we read, does it also tell us that it’s immoral to mix your crops; or wear wool and linen together; or cut your hair and beard; or putting tattoo marks on your body? how about working on a Sabbath? these were ALSO written in Leviticus (Lev. 19). Abomination—when we take into consideration the context of history and culture of the Jews at that time rather mean, or is used to address a ritual wrong or done against their traditions; NEVER is it used to denote to something that is innately immoral.

here’s another example: eating pork was an abomination to the Jews because it was against their ritual obligation, but is not innately immoral to eat pork.

but what about the Sodom & Gomorrah? isn’t that a clear example of homosexual immorality? you  may ask.

God told Abraham he will destroy the cities of Sodom & Gomorrah because it has become exceedingly corrupt (Gen. 19). so He sent two messenger angels and they appeared in the form of men at Sodom by the evening where Lot saw them. he invited them to his house where Lot and his family entertained them, fed them & allowed them to have lodging. it was required among Hebrew people to take care of the strangers when they come to your door and everyone was obligated to do so. Sodom being a wealthy city, committed a serious breach by violating it and cancelling the law of entertaining travelers because they thought that these people could rob them with their wealth. knowing that there were two strangers lodged in Lot's house they send men to surrender them and threatened to "gang-rape" the strangers if they won't show up. rape at that time specially among men is an act of extreme humiliation: other forces that were defeated by the armies were gang-raped to humiliate them and their kingdom. so, the angels struck and blinded the people that were there and instructed Lot and his family to leave the city before it was destroyed.

Sodom & Gomorrah is NOT a story of promiscuity, it’s a story of hostility, perversion, and inhospitality.

in Romans 1:24-27, NATURAL and UNNATURAL which was referred by Paul meant CUSTOMARY and UNCUSTOMARY. it wasn’t customary to men and women having sex with the same gender in the Jewish context but Paul saw it in the Greek world which he considered as evidence of idolatry, referencing to exploitive same sex relationships common among pagan Romans and Greeks, and worshiping the wrong god, thus he included it in his letter to the Romans. but Paul didn’t contemplate on the monogamous loving relationships that are common to homosexual people today.

homosexuality clearly has nothing to do directly with immorality even romantic homosexual relationships when it’s done in the framework of love, just like opposite sex relationships.

if only THEM who preached bias and realized they brought prejudice, and THEM who say Amen to that denigrates their own can imagine how much pain they inflict. am thankful to God i read my Bible, and by letting me understand these things i love my God more, and i know he loves me too because He came to the world for the sick and the oppressed not for the well and proud. not even the Lord Jesus Christ spoke in the New Testament against gay people.

now i am still in search for another church that will welcome the person i am and people like me without partiality. i know that there must be one because good exists. i’m asian and i’m not gonna be doing anything to make my eyes blue;  i am happy and peaceful with what i am.. so with regards to the dilemma of Self-reconciliation, or, being In-congruent with other believers— which both by the way sounded great—i’d rather be on the one that’s liberating to the soul: i’d rather lose my religion if that’s where i will find my peace. and i bet deep inside, you would also choose the same.

“There is nothing wrong in a fifth grade understanding of God as long as you’re in fifth grade”. _Rev. Dr. Laurence C. Keene, Disciples of Christ