Martes, Oktubre 21, 2014

jennifer laude's death. my take

before anything else, let me refer to the victim as a “she”. i don’t want to shame other people’s choice.

Jennifer (or Jeffrey) Laude—a transpinay—was found on October 12, close to the water closet where it was believed she was asphyxiated (markings on her neck, bruises), then drowned to death in the toilet bowl. some said it was a hate crime. some supposed it rooted from deceit, that she defrauded a US Marine to making him believe she’s a biological female before they went to a motel.
as vile as it may seem, we wonder why it happened, how it rooted and what? it was in a local bar where Jennifer and Private First Class Joseph Scott Pemberton met. if only those tables, those liquor bottles could tell what they have talked about, their prior arrangements, if there had been. what went on to their conversations as they took their way to the motel? and finally behind the room’s closed door, what have been said, disagreed, fought over, or have wrangled in with their engagements? these, until the investigation will be completed, will continue to drape our views ablur. only them knew..
came the news the following morning when she was found moments after her murder. as the investigation was on-going, we also have begun our own speculations. the news spread like fire. it was on the radio, the internet, eventually on tv and on every paper.
it is in the town of Olongapo where Jennifer was nurtured; it used to be her comfort zone, where she learned to become what she had become as a person; and , as a fiancé to a German boyfriend who til the end was there for her. but the people in there has a divided sympathy towards her. it was in a way conflicting that the place where you put your life into will also be the place where your life gets taken way. how hostile could it be for her to experience such kind of death. was she even deserving of it if there was dishonesty on her part, on any case? being beaten and drowned to death on the toilet bowl? do we Filipinos deserve that very unsympathetic death? or we have yet to ask these questions to ourselves..
it’s impossible to give opinions right away at this point. i too find it difficult to say something and comprehend about what happened without checking the facts. really.
the crime scene is what we have. but what’s really the fact?
if am going to put myself on the shoes of the US Marine, i could have felt enraged that will be strong enough to throw a blow on her face ‘til she’ll realize that there is no excuse to the deceit just to get what she wanted. it was plain selfish. on the other hand, putting myself on the shoes of the slain, i could have had also took the risk and be bold to do the try. i’m already in there so might as well. after all, would i expect getting brutally killed just for the sham? i mean, in a generation where sexuality is already broadened and fluid?
even so, i still can’t put a single dot to my statement. i can only have reservations and wait for the truth to come out. whatever had triggered Pemberton (if he’s really the perpetrator), only those mute witnesses inside that closed room could tell. let’s just hope the evidences be sufficient enough to put an end to this drama. i also hope that at the end of this whole matter, the lesson learned aside from just seething the consequences of cheating, or even deceiving, that we Filipinos in general do not deserve to be violated on our dignity. more so, not even a single reason would give these foreign individuals the right to take away our pride and reverence and demean us, even to our death.

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Biyernes, Oktubre 10, 2014

a look back at the converations i had: I'm gay. And delirious.

me: biatch! nakoy date!!!

dacota: seriously? mutu-o raba jud ko. good for’s your turn to dayon or it didn’t happen..nyahaha

me: dili ka mangutana kinsa ako kadate?

dacota: getting Renato? wahahaha o katong bag-o lang nakapasar ug board exam, what’s his name?

me: i just can’t say no..xa pa naman nag.message nako sa fb..medyo nakurat kayo ko

dacota: kinsa lagi nah uy

me: . . . .imong ex (Renato)

dacota: gosh! omg..that’s so sweet. love it! this is it na dayon

me: i may've said things ‘bout him...but i wanna give this a shot. crush baya nako xa & i’ve been very open ‘bout it. basin pa diay, ayt? please don’t be mad

dacota: why man masuko ko? dili man kaha ko ninyo libakon? i’m a good sport..i can be supportive

me:..really? as in seriously dili ka masuko?..

dacota: wala ko nasuko uy..ako pa. am supportive yotz..go go go..hehe

me: ..but why would he invite me to a dinner? basin gusto lang xa makig-isturya about sa imo oi..feeling gwapa pud ko dah

dacota: lagi bah?! pwede..i don’t mind, really.. well, you better not be fooling w/ me..layu pa april fools..nyahaha.
whether si Renato or not, am so excited you’re having a date! Wheee

. . . ug sa dihang, gilaparo dayon ko niya sa akong pag-deliryo.

                            a look-back at the conversations i had: "He's Gay. Implied."