Sabado, Hulyo 19, 2014

goodbyes are hard to do

goodbyes are indeed hard to do. it has been over a year since i started with this project, time has flown so swiftly. it was fun, and fun is doing what you love to do while building a (professional) relationship with people who put their trust in what you can do.

it started with the desire to put all the work i needed to carry out. it was a bit scary at the beginning seeing an ugly concrete erected amidst a vacant block. but that triggered the need for its creative control, hence, the challenge was to make most out of what’s to be done, clothe its bareness and give appeal to a quiescent edifice. i did not  settle with simplicity, i opted for a character and a stand out elegance. by the time the painting works were done and all the lights and other elements installed, it suddenly became as if it was a new thing coming out from its dormancy radiating a flare that came alive before our eyes. it was so pleasant hearing a "wow!" as the owner exclaimed with excitement and surprise. i could never not get excited with it myself. it took over a year in the making.

making friends, establishing relationships, and strengthening the camaraderie with the people i worked with kind of blurs the  line between work and personal connections. it is hard to establish friendship without sharing a bit of your personal life to them.. being sincere not just because you want to but because you have to. perhaps this was all that i needed for my 1-year. i grew with my knowledge and expanded my understanding by also learning from the wisdom they imparted; i became more aware of these humble people, every one.

i don’t want to see this go, or see myself go. for the moment i just desired to hold it close before it slips away. so i’m here lying solitarily hearing the hum of the aircon unit in the guest room. 2 days. that’s how long i’d be staying here, or even longer if i wished to. Goodbye—as hard as it is for me to say, doing it is even harder.  has the owner been so kind and hospitable, in fact, i was so welcomed & i couldn’t think of a better way of thanking her & son but a simple letter of gratitude. i wish i could someday.

so i wrote:
“I wish I could coin a word that would sum-up the incredible experience I had working with you. THANK YOU would not be enough, but the pride I gained working on this project humbled me more.”

for now, i'll just gather all these pleasant memories little by little and gently fold them to fill my empty case. and i have thought, maybe bidding  goodbye to everyone isn’t anymore necessary, “see you another time around” seems better rather. i should be off now. i’m bound to go on with life anew by morning. :)




Photo taken from:
                         i.myniceprofile.com

Huwebes, Hulyo 10, 2014

a snowy drive home


your mouth stiff, repressing
words that wanted to bare
out and declaring the strain
resembling gravel in your throat,
as if laboring to make it seem well
only to injure some more..
you wanted to say something
—i thought—
but then my taciturnity
wraps you like rime;
we are severed and we knew it
forced, right from the start
only halfway little we mind; wonted,
we're clustered unnaturally
like muteness that screams
..in-between you and i.





















Photo credit:
                  Antoinette Joy Photography