a memory once again resurfaced: maybe because i saw you the other day. this whole thing which had become another classic tale of unrequited admiration. Charr. i didn’t know if i was ought to finish this crap and blog about it, the fact that i have forgotten completely this whole...shameful experience. oo mga bekahloo sampalin niyo na ako!
so here was the final installment:
knowing how important timing was, i wasted no time and dropped the bomb right then and there. another streak of impulse trying my luck on that overrated Vday (or Vweek). prior to the affirmative response, i was very confident about it, paving way for that very unlikely invitation which came out of a crazy #dareMyself idea. an idea that gave me incontainable joy that time which i thought would be IT! but then came the excuses.
the suppose-to-be event could’ve been the start of a beautiful thing that could crop up between him and me; or was i too presumptuous...at least now i know what fairy tales do to us. kaya hindi ko na xa pi-nush te. i’m probably be convinced that all good things must stop. an invitation for a dinner date that went to a tragic end. so how can i reconcile these when it didn’t really transpired in the first place? it wasn’t there and it didn’t happen. and the previous posts i had, ruined.
maybe that was just it: a mere meaningless affirmative response. i‘m wondering if he just gave in to the pressure at that moment which was of course, kinda intentional from me, because the sound of his words weren’t coherent enough for an interested (or excited) party who will look forward to a much-awaited suppose-to-be experience. oh that was TOO assuming of me. hungsaklap. sampal ulet, nang magising!
i WAS over this, really. but at that time honestly, i didn’t know what to feel. spell S-H-A-M-E. it was a simple plea on my expense. but never mind. he didn’t have to be sorry or bother at all. it was petrifying the fact that i needed to forget him. but i did. and have gracefully moved on.
this post was long overdue. i thought of not posting it anymore, pero wala lang akong mai-post.
related posts: ton
ton: the email sent
a look back at the conversations i had: I'm gay. I want it out!