Miyerkules, Abril 18, 2018

the pseudo-pamamanhikan, pt-3

PART 1.
PART 2.

PART 3 of 3. minsan, kahit gaano man katindi ng ating nararamdaman para sa isang tao, kailingan pa rin nating bigyan ng  sapat na pagitan ang sarili sa maari pang mangyari sa tamang panahon. hindi kasi lahat ng akala  nating  signs ay tama at tiyak na talaga, lalo na’t sa panig ko ako ang me malaking  pagkakagusto kasi ako yung na-fall para sa tao. kung yun din ang nararamdaman niya,  sa kanya na yon. lalabas at lalabas din yon at magtatagpo ang aming mga landas kahit ano pa man. at siyempre, gagawa ng paraan ang tadhana, kailangan lang nating makinig at maghintay. at sadyang me dahilan kung bakit dumarating ang mga tao sa ating buhay, kung ano man iyon.

pagkabalik natin sa inyo, tinanong mo’ko kung gusto ko na bang kumain ng buko, pahinga ka muna, busog pa din naman ako, tugon ko sa ‘yo. ikaw rin kasi naghugas ng pinggan bago tayo namasyal sa sapa; at parang halos buong-araw ka nang gumagalaw na hindi nagpapahinga, dagdag ko pa. ang sipag-sipag mo. naaawa at naku-cutan na ako sa’yo at the same time. pinaparamdam mo talaga na importante akong tao sa buhay mo.

makalipas lang ang ilang sandali, lumabas ka na ng bahay bitbit ang itak, at nagsimula nang umakyat sa niyog. noong una akala ko madali lang manguha ng buko pero nakita kong mahirap pala talaga. wala pa don yung makagat ka ng mga langgam at ibang insekto sa itaas ng puno. me tatlo na tayong nakuha, sinabi ko sa’yong tama na ang lima. pero lumipat ka pa pala sa ibang puno at dinagdagan mo ng lima pa.

pagkababa mo, batid ko ang hirap na dinanas mo para makalikum ng sampung buko, hehe. gusto sana kitang punasan kasi ang dungis-dungis mo na. at dahil hindi ka nagsuot ng damit pang-itaas, napansin kong me abs ka pala, hehehe.. SIGN? LOL. #maybe #kinilig.

ilang sandali matapos naten magmeryenda kasama ng ate mo, dumating na si nanay, at sumunod si tatay. ayan kompleto na tayo, pwede na talaga akong mamanhikan. kung medyo madaldal si tatay, si nanay tinodo na niya, hehehe.. nakakatuwa siya, parang nadagdagan ang buhay sa loob ng bahay, at tinodo ko na rin ang kapal ng aking mukha, #tryinghard. masaya tayong nagkwentuhan at parating tumatawa. napakasaya ng pamilya niyo, kaya pala mabuti kang tao kasi mabait din ang mga magulang mo. 

sana balang araw maipagtapat ko na talaga, napu-fall na ako sa ‘yo. seryoso. at sana matanggap mo ‘yon ng buo. :)

pasado alas-singko na ng hapon nang sinabi kong kailangan ko nang bumalik ng CdeO. gusto ko sanang manatili pa ng matagal pero baka wala nang bus na masakyan at medyo nag-alala ako, biyernes-santo na kasi kinabukasan. sinuyo niyo akong dito na lang maghapunan, at sinabi pa ni nanay na bukas na lang daw ako umuwi at doon tayo patutuluging dalawa sa kabilang kwarto (DING! DING! DING! Pramis, natuwa talaga ako dito!), pero saka na lang muna. kahit hindi ako ma-inarte alam kong makakaabala pa rin ako sa inyo. at extra shirt lang din yung aking dala wala nang iba! LOL. 

inihatid mo ako ng iyong motor patungong bus stop. habang tahimik at nakaangkas sa likod mo, marami akong narealise sa araw na ito: na wag basta-bastang bibitaw sa pag-asa. pag-asang inakala mong wala na pero bigla na lang lilitaw ulit nang di mo inasahan. habang me buhay me pag-asa, yep, as cliché and gasgas as it may sound. at, merong magbibigay ng halaga sa pagkatao mo kahit minsan, ang tingin mo sa saril’iy wala ka nang kwenta. at ang mas importante, habang me buhay me pag-ibig kang ipagpasalamat sa Itaas, anumang uri ng  pag-ibig ‘yon para sa isang napaka-halagang tao.

at labis at taus-puso po akong magdadasal na hindi dito magtatapos ang kwentong ito.


and i. . . Thank You.

pic kuha ng kanyang ate. #can'tContainMyHappiness


End.

 
related posts: werk: paghahanda sa future
                     tell him
                     eetcha date. daw
                     transitory
                     when loneliness sets in

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                           kanina sa Grocery
                           cliche

Lunes, Abril 09, 2018

the pseudo-pamamanhikan, pt-2

PART 1 here.

PART 2 of 3. mamimili muna ako ng kaunting pasalubong, kailangan magpa-impress sa tatay at nanay, at mga future in-laws. pero kunti lang para di masyadong effort at trying hard. di masyadong halata. LOL.  matutuwa sana sila.

march 29, 2018, Holy Thursday ay dumating na. maaga akong nagising: deezeeezdadey bakla! wala nang atrasan itwu at wala nang makakapigil sa pamamanhikan paggala ko. excited at kinakabahan, yung feeling ng parang magde-debut o  ikakasal ka? charut. reality: parang natatae. ilang sandali pa'y me natanggap akong text, “Good Morning. Holythursday”. maaga ka nga rin palang gumugising kaya't bumangon at naghanda na ako.

nangako kang ipaghahanda mo ‘ko ng native na manok, ‘yon rin kasi ang aking nirequest. at sinabi mo mangunguha tayo ng buko kasi maraming puno ng niyog doon.

But I've been so strong
Can it be true
It's like a mystery too soulful
For you broke my resolve
Now I'm fighting I try
but I cannot deny

that I could really go for you..

yon ang sabi sa lyrics ng kantang pinapakinggan ko habang  nasa bus. at marahil, iyon din talaga nararamdaman ko sa mga oras na ‘yon.

naghintay ka ng halos 20-minutos kasi nahuli ng dating ang bus na sinakyan ko. pagkababa agad mo ‘kong nakita’t kinawayan, dilaw ang suot mong shirt, naka-shades, at nakasandal sa motor mong kulay asul dala-dala ang native na manok na kabibili mo lang. medyo nangitim ka ng kunti pero, myGawd, lalo kang gumwapo! ewan ko pero nagkasalubong ang mga malalaki nating ngiti. sa matagal na panahon, nasilayan na naman natin ang isa’t-isa.
 
looking back, i realised, "there could really be" something
sinalubong ako ng ate at kuya mo pagkarating natin sa bahay niyo. wow, welcome ako agad ng aking future bayaw at hipag. pareho silang mahiyain kaya’t nakihiya ra rin ako. slight  lang dapat ang ngiti at kunyari mahina ang boses. wag lakasan ang tawa. maya-maya pa'y dumating na si tatay galing trabaho (me work sila sa hwebes-santo). masayahing tao si tatay at medyo  madaldal kaya’t di na  rin umubra yong pagkukunwari ko. masarap siyang kausap, ipinaalala niya yong mga panahong maliit pa ako. namangha ako sa kanya kasi magkaibigan din kasi  parents naten. SIGNS na talaga itwu.

sa tulong ng iyong kuya, agad niyong inihanda yung manok para gawing tinola. quarter-to-eleven na rin tama lang para pananghalian. naging bisi kayo, feeling ko para akong napaka-importanteng bisita, para akong namamanhikan. nahiya ako bigla. 

naubusan ako ng tubig sa balde panghugas at literal mo’kong pinag-igib, sa poso sa labas (DING!). 

pagkatapos nating mananghalian pahinga muna ako sa kawayan niyong luklukan, nakikinig ng classic lovesong oldies, at nag-iemote nang bigla mo akong tinabihan. ya, gusto mo bang mamasyal sa may sapa?, tanong mo. xa nga pala bago ako nakarating sa inyo, inisip kong sana mabigyan tayo ng time yung tayong dalawa lang.. at marahil ito na ‘yon. SIGN na naman. tumayo ako kaagad, tara!

pumunta tayo sa may sapa pero natawa ako kasi, walang tubig. sapa lang xa na walang tubig. LOL. summer nga pala kaya natutuyo  ang sapa. tahimik ka lang, baka nasurprise ka rin kasi tuyo nga pala  pag summer at di mo yon agad naisip. sinabi mo ring di ka  na  parating pumupunta  dito pero dito mo pa rin ako dinala. sa unahan me tubig kaya doon tayo tumungo. tahimik lang tayong pareho habang ang mga paa natin ay nababasa, ang sinag ng araw ay pumupunta sa ating mga mukha mula sa malamig na tubig. batid ko na sanang sabihin na ang totoong nararamdaman para sa ‘yo, pero dinala ito ng marahang daloy ng katahimikan. inenjoy na lang muna naten iyon na walang ibang maririnig na tunog kundi ang ating malalim na paghinga at ang patuloy na agos ng tubig sa sapa. ano rin kaya iniisip mo sa mga panahong ‘yon? kahit gaano na katindi nasa loob ko, sinabi ko na lang muna ng tahimik

“..Lord, saka na lang.”


to be continued...


related posts: werk: paghahanda sa future
                     tell him
                     eetcha date. daw
                     transitory
                     when loneliness sets in

Huwebes, Abril 05, 2018


hi All, 
sorry there's been a slight glitch and 3 of my old posts entitled EB series were accidentally placed ontop my previous more recent the pseudo-pamamanhikan series.

EB was already posted around late 2015 and some may have already been familiar to the story, so don't get yourselves confused. and because EB (series) happened way before the pamamanhikan, it has NOTHING to do with Richard and the pseudo-pamamanhikan story. but how i wish. *wink!

i promise to keep you posted for the remaining parts of my most recent, which is my story with Richard. my apologies.

regards All. slurp! :))


baklitang malandi,
_bender

EB series: part Three

rest of Part Two here. 
 “i will show you something”, he broke off as he reached down on the side table a small red foily package and tried biting off the wrapper. but before he could do it he finally said, “let’s do this”.

* * * *

he led me into this position where i was on my back, him on his knees with our groins at an almost perpendicular angle. he held both my ankles and spread my legs farther apart so he would be able to press himself in easily. i thought it was sexy. my excitement spiked to level eight. i only see this on pornhub and can’t really believe we’re actually doing it. “are you okay”, curious, he muttered again. “go ahead, fuck me”, i said. it was all that i could answer. then he proceeded by gently getting in, trying to test the depths of the waters. slowly in just a matter of time he was all inside me and i could feel his warmth. he slowly moved his hips, back and forth, gently, and then would later gradually gain some pace. “ohh my great god..” i wasn’t able to contain the feeling. i bit my lips. i swallowed, even gulped.  it was so damn beautiful. he leaned closer against me, my feet onto his shoulders and his arms pinned to support himself to the bed. all this time his eyes fixed at mine. i was frantically letting out loud moans while he was gaining speed on his thrusts. he’s doing it the way i could never complain.

he has began to sweat out a little more, sweaty, like i would want for my man, he’s getting hotter and wilder the longer i looked at him; any one wouldn’t want to let him go any soon. i gripped at his strong arms, and felt the slippery friction between my palms and his skin. he’s getting deeper inside me and i would not want to make him stop. i mean, how could i..

and then  he suddenly stopped and rolled off the bed. he grabbed me and directed me to the furniture on the corner. he let me settle on it face down, easily, and ordered me to raise my hips just enough to catch the tip of his aiming dick. he tapped the area on my hips above my butt cleavage to try to ease me, though the gesture i liked, it was actually a hint that this one’s going to be a bit agonizing. “relax”, he ordered. and then: “shit, ahh.. fuck”, i yelled on the slight torture, it was indeed painful like i was about to split. he gently shoved himself inside me again until my hips came touching his thighs, and started plowing me on the back. i compelled him to be as gentle and was glad that he complied. he would reach down on me at every moment and plant kisses at the back of my neck, he'd bite my ear, like a sweet reassurance that it will be fine and that i would still enjoy whatever it is we were doing. “just tell me if you’re hurting..”, i admired the reverence even amidst an intercourse, checking if i could still hold on to the pain. “just go on, i’d say when this is getting too uncomfortable”. but really, i just want him to fuck me like he had wanted to. and i'd let him have that.



EB series: part Two

rest of Part One here.
i felt him with my hands. it wasn’t so stiff yet, but, as i kept rubbing, slowly working  on it that soon changed. his legs tightened.  i felt the stronger throb and pulsing as if saying he’s very ready to expose. and so i let it. i was stunned, my mouth watering.

* * * *

i was drenched, but my drive was just gaining the momentum. i looked up to him and saw him watching me should the next thing that i would do. his eyes desired me to continue with it smoothly, but his arms were quick to push my face closer to his angry member. i held it firm and let my fingers felt it’s growing might. i could smell his manliness, his sweltering flavor, and the smell was causing my hand to tighten its grip, and by instinct stroked it firmly. continually. “ahh..shit”, he could only let it escape from his mouth. i slapped his hardness to my cheeks repeatedly, like a porn star would do it on the video. “yes..”, he said again with a groan, looking intently at the exploit.

i took a few more seconds to truly appreciate his glory. with all the tension building up, it was time for me to let some get away. and so i wrapped him, inside my eager mouth: i couldn’t wait any longer either. there couldn’t be anything more delectable than having someone you really desired inside your mouth. it was full. so hard, so warm, so real. and i felt every inch of his skin, every movement, his every gasp, his shudder of excitement trying to break free that my frail mouth could only do him at that point. i can literally hear his exhilaration. and it was getting louder, and louder. i was like being so hungry but the deeper i took him inside the more i get the craving.

i looked up to see his face again, and his expression was almost enough to trigger an orgasm without us doing yet the full deed. i gave him a grin, and he was just there lying bare and open true to his expression of experiencing the pleasure. while i was also enjoying that mind-blowing moment the back of my sane mind have also thought about true intentions after this night expires. would there be still a me and him again at a more exclusive, closely connected sense? will this progress into a more profound sense of togetherness?

yet again, before i could think any further of the future, he grabbed me by the arm and directed me to come up to him. he kissed me once again. this time more eager, and rigid. more tongue.

“i will show you something”, he broke off as he reached down on the side table a small red foily package and tried biting off the wrapper. but before he could do it he finally said, “let’s do this”.



to be continued...

EB series: part One

we can write about anything: an hour’s expanse could already fill several empty pages of our writing sheets. truly, you can write about life’s most graphic detail, whether you or with another person as the main subject, or both, it is your own story after all. so this one is mine, though it took me a while to write this, this is one experience very personal to me and something that i haven't been wanting to share:

it wasn’t one of those usual evenings where i meet on a date several friends and some few familiar people. this one's uniquel: i am going to see yet again, someone i met online. finally. yes. 
it started with his message. short. straight to the point. the conversation didn’t start out with what the usual PR intros would have been. he was quite good at capturing my attention i can say. ensnared instantly with his firm politeness and, his street smartness amazed me because i've never met anyone as cunning as him. he has known a lot from his experiences obviously. out of nowhere, he told me he's a pure top, and yes, that he can fuck me hard. so out of sheer intrigue i politely asked if he could just show some photos to sew the curiosity: average, he's just an average-looking rugged-type guy around. his little goatee and eyes that kind of stared back a firm gaze matched with a flaring smirk was beguiling though so i instantly liked him. at first i got an impression that he's the type that scares my shit. someone you can’t trust being around too close he might do something alarming.

then we ultimately agreed on an eye ball on that evening right away. so we met at this waiting area by a university, he from his workout and i from the house. he didn’t smile when we saw which kind of, puts me kinda little off. he's a bit different in person: he's taller and larger. and meaner. i tried to loosen myself up from the surge of adrenaline running through me, not with excitement but with intimidation. i am not the trusting type by the way for all you know. trying to calm down little by little by initiating small talks to this mysterious guy i just agreed to meet. he was all quiet and calm. he engages in small talks whenever i get to ask him some frequent and familiar questions i had already ask during our chat. cross-checking. that was the initial awkward scenario. i still am a little scared at that time tho. at some point we decided to go to a nearby bar. we were trying to relieve ourselves from the first meet-up tension and we needed booze to loosen up a little . he started talking when we had our first few bottles of beer. he was still calm and steady, and straight to the point. he had laid some of his experiences right away on the table and spoke about his gratefulness of how he narrowly escaped perils through his cunningness from the stupid things he did in the past. after a few moments, he then furtively came near me and whispered he wanted to get stupid again for tonight. this guy's got some plans, and i liked it. the cold on my toes rapidly crept up to my knees with excitement. i was enjoying the night when he made the initiative signaling he wanted to go some place where only the two of us could share. i knew that it was coming but his taking lead amazed me. he's a man!

so we ended up in this motel. he came in like he was already too familiar with the place. i locked the door behind me, anxious, and if some of the lights weren’t dimmed i was probably visibly shaking. i heard the steel doors outside dropped down. this is it. i suddenly got reminded of that haunting mem’ry i had with someone in that same motel two years ago. the tv was playing at full blast but i could only mind little the moaning & the porn showing on it at that time.

“come” he muttered finally looking straight into my eyes. i obliged and stepped closer at him at the corner of the bed. he started undressing himself: lifting his shirt over his head. one by one his garments fell on the floor, and i was there seemingly held up with his revealing. he seemed exceptionally good at this. and my boobs were frantically jumping out of my trunk.

“you okay?..” he smirked as i seemed dazed and immobilized. he gently took my hand and rub it on his crotch, and slid it up on to his chest. soon enough i was learning. and my curiosity to explore led me to try to discover him more my way. he gave me this familiar grin, an expression that he’s taking delight of what i was doing. he held my waist and pulled me closer to his face to kiss me. he knew that it was what i really wanted. so he did. softly at first. and then he opened his mouth, and i willingly received him. “oh, god” i pulled off a little just to say those words, but he held me tighter. it was my first real kiss.

he made a tentative move with his hands holding the bottom of my shirt as i watched him attentively, waiting for my permission. he proceeded carefully eyes still locked on mine as he began taking off my covers one by one. seeing me bare he then held me on the chin to carefully guide my face up close enough to him, and we kissed again. he held that kiss, and for the first time it felt like someone has finally made me feel like am as delicate as a woman.

my breath was racing, my palms glided on to his shoulders and big arms. i gripped on his back and slid my hands down to his spine, and then went busying down to grab his ass. it was something he could not object. how could he: i think he was enjoying the moment as much as i was. it felt like there was a lot more to do, as i was about to put my hands inside his underwear and feel his behind he grabbed and turned me around as he was to throw ourselves on to the bed. we crashed with him on top and his manly shadow covered me from the dim lighting, his size and power took over. he finally began licking my neck down to my chest. that was the sweetest sensation i have ever felt in two years. and it was just starting.

he broke off suddenly and laid on his back towards the headboard. he motioned to me as if saying “i know this is your fantasy. now, you can do whatever you want”. so i crawled up to him and proceeded immediately by fondling the bulge on his crotch using my tongue. i have long been wanting to do that. i felt a slight motion inside. a revolt. a pulsing. god, i can do this forever. i cut the excitement overload off for the mean time and let my tongue travel up to his bellybutton. i licked it all around. even explored the inside of his navel. i felt the slight pulling of my hair as his grasp  was getting tighter. the wispy hairs around that area below his tummy was igniting a flame of lust inside me. i was always curious about this part of a man, but now my tongue is brushing on it across its bare skin. wet. and he was steamy. his masculinity was defined more with his bronze skin contoured perfectly by the faint lighting, gradually heaping up the sexy mood within the room.

he was manly smooth. i ran my tongue up to his suckable nipples and lingered there for a while switching between the two. “shit…”, him with his slight groan. that was enough for a motivation. i let my face slid cross his firm chest, inhaling him, then back down, down to his abdomen area where i could never get enough. he widened his legs and gently pushed a bit of my head down as a motion for me to continue where i first started.

i felt him with my hands. it wasn’t so stiff yet, but, as i kept rubbing, slowly working  on it that soon changed. his legs tightened.  i felt the stronger throb and pulsing as if saying he’s very ready to exposet. and so i let it. i was stunned, my mouth watering.


 to be continued..

Miyerkules, Abril 04, 2018

the pseudo-pamamanhikan

ilang linggo na naman kitang naiisip, Richard. kumusta na nga pala tayo?? ang huli kong naaalala, nanood tayong dalawa ng cine, tapos nun hindi ka na nakabalik sa CdeO. text2 na lang muna tayo, paminsan-minsan tumatawag ka. oo thoughtful yon para sa akin, pero di ako sure kung ganon din ba yon para sa ‘yo. tinatawagan mo ‘ko paminsan-minsan, nangungumusta’t nangungulit kung kelan ba ako makakabisita diyan sa inyo. ikaw na talaga, ramdam ko na. totoo na ito, swear. pero nitong mga nakaraang buwan, naging bisi tayo pareho sa trabaho at sa ibang bagay kaya’t parehong naputol yung communication naten. knowing that you’re doing really well with your new job, masaya na ako para sa ‘yo. sabi ko nga, lahat ng ating ginagawa ay paghahanda sa future nating dalawa at ng magiging anak natin. pero Charut lang ‘yon. kaya serious muna sa trabaho at bawas-bawas muna ang harot.

gaya ng sabi, ilang linggo bago mag-Holy Week parating ikaw ang naiisip ko.. ewan ko ba, bigla ka na lang pumasok dito.  you’re getting into my brain without my permission, invading my privacy. and for that i felt so violated. di mo na nirespeto ang pagkababae ko! LOL. 

Feb 26th nang minessage kita sa fb. di na ako nakatiis di ka na kasi nagrereply sa mga pangangamusta ko sa text, di mo na rin ako tinatawagan. at nagreply ka naman later on Mar 3rd. buhay pa! me pag-asa pa ang bakla!! medyo kinilig daw yung mga boobs kong hindi halata at gusto nilang magtatatalon. napangiti na lang ako ng malaki bigla sa tuwa. siyempre, hindi ko pinapahalata yon masyado, kasi di ko pa gets yong  side mo.

pinapapunta mo na naman ako diyan sa inyo. naisip ko, pwede ako  sa Holy Week kasi di na masyadong abala, at saka, pang-ilang  kulit  mo na rin  ito  sa’kin kaya sinabi ko na ring baka pwede sa hwebes santo. natuwa ka, hindi ko maipaliwanag pero medyo pareho tayo ng nararamdaman: natuwa ako na medyo kinabahan. ano kaya  madadatnan ko  sa inyo? welcome ba ako ng mga magulang at mga kapatid mo sa bahay niyo? ano na kaya mga ipinagbago mo? maraming tanong. pero isa lang ang siguradomagkikita ulit tayo.

sa makalawa na ang hwebes santo at  medyo excited na ako.

isang gabi habang nasa meeting ako nag ring  yung fone. ikaw ang tumatawag. di ko iyon inasahan at na-surprise daw ako. nangungumusta ka, gusto mo rin lang marinig ang boses ko kasi na-mimiss mo rin ako. choss. gusto kong lumundag, pero hindi, nasa meeting pa pala ako. 

minsan mo ring nabanggit ang lovelife ko. pati sa fb. parating isa lang yung sinasagot ko: 

IKAW LANG NAMAN TALAGA ANGLOVELIFE KO EH. DI MO PA BA YON GETS?
 
wala pa akong lovelife (kaya relax ka lang dyan!). minsan mo kasing nakita sa fb na me parati akong kasamang gurl (sina Trixie, Gilliane, SheilaMarie at mga iba ko pang tropa), at naka-tag ako parati. me mga pics din na kami lang dalawa ni Trixie, nag comment ka  pa nga sa isang pic namen di ba, tinatanong mo kung siya na ba yong forever ko? nahiya ako ng slight ke Trixie, pero pabiro kong sinabi sa ‘yo na  hindi kami kaya wag kang seloso bunso..

natapos ang araw ko na masaya. at last, muli na naman tayong nag-uusap. at natulog akong nakangiti kasi parang buhay na naman ang dormant kong (non-existent) lovelife. choss.

ito yung humble place nila sa province



to be continued...